Final Post

I'm so sorry it's been along time between posts, I've been swamped at home with Noah. Summary is Noah is doing well after a hard start.

He had reflux which was horrid as he would scream and be unsettled all day. It took many doctors trips and different formulas to try help and finally we have some relief & we have a few tricks to help along the way. Another small issue was he had a preferred side to lay on so he was starting to get a flat head. We have been seeing a baby chiro and she is doing wonders - I had no idea babies can get so jammed up during birth, Noahs neck was jammed and only after a few weeks massive improvement has been made. Sleep wise he is doing much better, getting into a routine and stretching out feeds to 4 hourly.

For me the start was rough, sadly I got the baby blues which turned into mild PND. I think it was many things that contributed - me distancing myself from the baby during pregnancy, not wanting to vent or complain about the hard times as I felt so blessed to have a baby after TTC for so long and never really having life experience with babies made it alot more overwhelming. I thought after wanting something so much I failed badly as a mum and I never wanted help as it showed my weakness. Anyway I'm not going to get into the whole issue but wanted to say its improving. I'm not overwhelmed anymore and I've changed alot of things; for example I'm taking time out for myself by exercising which makes me feel great and Aaron and I are going on regular 'date nights'. As Noah has improved and settled into a routine, so have I. Please don't think I'm complaining as I'm far from it, just listing whats been happening. In Summary everything is travelling along much better and we are working well as a team.

My first Mother Day was fantastic, much better than I ever thought it could be. In saying that I do remember what it was like 'on the other side' ... wanting it so much... I felt so bad for the ladies that were sad and upset that day. I remember the last mothers day was when I was waiting to start my IVF cycle.

After the birth I had massive mixed emotions about my TTC journey and the stage I finally got to. I felt on cloud 9 we finally had a child but I still held onto the hurt from TTC for so long.... it wasn't till weeks later I had to learn to let it go. I can't be disappointed or angry anymore ... I need to drop it and move forward ... so this is what I'm doing. I started this blog to help me through my TTC/IVF journey and it worked, it felt great to vent and cry here and no one could judge me. Also my lovely EB crew, I couldn't have got through the last years of ups and downs without them. I know it sounds soppy and aload of shit but its true, I think about everyone there; The original TTC group, the grads group, the AC group, my DIG and most of all the E Team. I wish I could stay on EB forever and talk to the friends I have made but I need to move forward. In saying that I will never forget my friendships made and many will continue on. I realise I may come across this same journey if we ever decide to have another baby but the last years have made me stronger and I know I can do it.

I will leave you with a huge photo bomb of Noah and I ... and please if you want to continue to chat I'm always free by email or facebook.... you know how I love to talk ;) love to you all I will never forget my time with you xxxxx